There's a great intimacy in sleeping with someone

There's a great intimacy in sleeping with someone.

Only sleeping. 

Feeling him at night.

But he is so closed...

He lets me feel only his body, 

not his heart, 

not his soul, 

not even his whole body...

He is avoiding

me or himself

I cannot tell.

But I sense his pain

Sometimes I see his pain

Sometimes he shuts down.